Grace in Small Things

I have decided that I complain just a little too much about things. From now on I am going to start off my day by choosing five things to be thankful for.... the little things in life that make me truly happy, but I don't take the time to see.

April 17, 2009
1. The little kisses from the little people that live in my house.
2. The life that is growing inside of me and kicking me as I write this.
3. The new signs of life that I am seeing in my yard everyday.
4. My mother who is a wonderful and supportive woman.
5. My husband who doesn't mind driving to get me candy during a pregnancy craving.

Of course, I had to start off with the big things!

April 18, 2009
1. Sleeping with the windows open and waking up to the sound of the birds chirping.
2. The taste of freshly squeezed orange juice.
3. The beautiful weather we finally get to enjoy.
4. A clean house.
5. The silly new laugh Grace has started using.

April 19, 2009
1. The smell of the fresh spring rain.
2. The rare three hour nap that I took today.
3. The feeling of accomplishment when I actually have nothing to do because it is already done.
4. White cupcakes with pink frosting.
5. Seeing my kids play nicely instead of fighting.

April 20, 2009
1. The fact that I am logical.
2. I love that Jack is so sweet and gives random hugs and kisses.
3. The leak in the ceiling in the foyer because that means I have a roof over my head.
4. The birds nest that was built in my wreath on the front door. Now we get to watch the cycle of life with the birds.
5. Mindless TV, like Dancing With the Stars and American Idol. Sometimes my mind just needs a break.

April 21, 2009
1. That I made it through the day today.
2. That teething tablets are non-toxic.
3. My new camera that actually takes pictures quickly enough to catch my kids before they move.
4. Pants that fit.
5. Ice cold water.

April 22, 2009
1. Earth Day!
2. My new organic cotton comforter.
3. My sister and neices coming for almost two weeks in the summer.
4. The look on Jack's face when he heard the baby's heartbeat today.
5. The delicious meal my wonderful husband made for me tonight.

April 24, 2009
1. Spending the entire day yesterday in bed - even though I felt awful it was nice just to do nothing.
2. The sound of Grace whistling.
3. The opening of Dad's and the first taste of a Snickers Snowstorm with chocolate yogurt.
4. Hanging my clothes out to dry.
5. The smell of freshly cut grass wafting through my window.

April 25, 2009
1. Early morning thunderstorms.
2. Grace's free spirit.
3. Jack's silliness.
4. Being able to have my windows open to feel the breeze.
5. That I can still fit through windows even though I am fat! The kids locked me out of the house yesterday and I had to crawl through the window to get back in. Not an easy task for a pregnant woman.

April 26, 2009
1. A good nights sleep with kids that slept through the night.
2. The little porch off of the livingroom so the kids can be outside.
3. The fresh chives from my garden.
4. The smell of food cooking on the grill.
5. My thoughtful sister.

April 29, 2009
1.The three days Bill had off to spend time with me and the kids.
2. The amount of things I got to cross off my to-do list.
3. The fact that I already have my Mother's Day gifts purchased.
4. Tums.
5. A full freezer of food.

May 01, 2009
1. The nest the birds built in the wreath on the front door.
2. Parenting books that will hopefully work.
3. My mom coming this weekend to help with the kids.
4. Bedtime is at 8:00!
5. Homemade chocolate chip cookies.

May 03, 2009
1. The wonderful gardening cookbook my mom gave me.
2. The German Apple Pancake I made this morning from the cookbook mom gave me. I was absolutely delicious.
3. Perennials. Saves so much money when they come back year after year.
4. That I made it one more week into my pregnancy. Only 4 weeks left.
5. My moms help this weekend with the kids.

May 06, 2009
1. That I am one doctors appointment closer to giving birth.
2. Gracie didn't get carsick this time!
3. Homemade Blackberry Dumplings. Holy cow they were good!
4. The smell of the lilac bushes in our yard.
5. My comfortable home.

May 07, 2009
1. Jackson was accepted into preschool today! It seems way too soon for me, but Bill is excited about it.
2. Today is my parents anniversary. They were married for 35 years before my father passed away.
3. Parents that were always supportive and let me know that I was loved. And still am.
4. Tylenol with codeine.
5. The dark clouds rolling in which means a good thunderstorm is brewing.

May 08, 2009
1. That I made it through another day.
2. Having children. Even though they drove me nuts today I still have them.
3. My wonderful mother who is coming next week to plant my garden for me.
4. My friend, Jennifer, who always has an open ear and understands what I am going through.
5. My clean kitchen which I am sure will last for about 5 more minutes.

May 09, 2009
1. The hour long nap that I took while my husband did the dishes and folded laundry.
2. Fresh guacamole.
3. Pink tulips.
4. The bulbs that are coming up in our shade garden.
5. The fact that we have an escrow account to pay for the ginormous tax bill that we got today!

May 10, 2009
1. I was actually able to cut both kids hair last night without a huge fit being thrown.
2. Mother's Day.
3. The viburnum flower that Jack picked for me today.
4. My thoughtful husband who got me a dozen pink roses and some flowers and flower boxes for the front porch.
5. A less painful day of walking. My back does not hurt nearly as much today as it has the past few days.

May 13, 2009
1. That I no longer have to worry about our dog biting our kids.
2. That I avoided having my cervix checked. I hate it! It is so painful!
3. That I have all of my grocery shopping done until after Alex makes his arrival.
4. The beautiful flowers that we got yesterday to complete our side flower garden.
5. My kids were both wonderful today and Gracie didn't melt down until we were almost home.

May 14, 2009
1. I am happy that I made it to my 34th birthday with good health and a happy life.
2. I was able to start planting my garden today since Bill finally got it tilled.
3. That my house is actually calm today since we are minus one dog.
4. That I found apple and ginger mint-finally!
5. That my mom is here for three days so I don't have to worry as much about going into labor and not having anyone to take me to the hospital and watch the kids.

May 19, 2009
I have missed a couple of days here. Alex doesn't want to seem to come out and I am in so much pain it is hard to think of the little things to be thankful for, but I will give it a go....
1. That I am one day closer to having a beautiful new baby.
2. One day closer to being able to shave my legs again.
3. One day closer to being able to lay on my stomach.
4. One day closer to being able to walk at a normal pace.
5. One day closer to being able to lay down without having acid reflux, indigestion, heart burn or any other pain that goes with being pregnant.
I am also thankful that this is the very last time that I am ever going to go through this pain ever, ever again! Okay, Alex, anyday now.

May 30, 2009
Again, it has been some time since I have written anything. I have had several "false alarms" with Alex and have even gone to the hospital and was admitted. Of course, I was sent home 5 hours later with no baby to show for it! So, let's see if I can find some things that I am thankful for today.
1. My induction is scheduled for Tuesday which means I will only be pregnant for 3 more days!
2. I finally got my herb garden planted.
3. My mom has been a God send and has been here the past three weekends to help out.
4. My friend, Theresa, who will come at the drop of a dime to watch the kids.
5. My wonderful marriage that actually is a happy one with no secrets or problems.

May 31, 2009
1. Only two more days left of pregnancy!
2. After I give birth I will be able to cross one more thing off of my 101 list. I love completing a task from the list. Especially a task this big.
3. Watching the little birdies that live in the wreath on our front door change every day. Grace even says goodnight to them every night.
4. The peace in my house since we only have two dogs now.
5. Seeing the little sprouts from the seeds I planted in my herb garden.

June 06, 2009
1. The birth of my beautiful baby boy Alexander Reed Killin.
2. My pregnancy is finally over!
3. My milk finally came in.
4. Cabbage leaves
5. My clean shaven legs and pretty painted toe nails.

June 20, 2009
1. The help I have had over the past two weeks.
2. Seeing my sister and her family.
3. I finally am starting to feel normal.
4. All my children are healthy and happy.
5. Jack and Grace love their little brother and are not jealous.

July 09, 2009
1. Alex is finally sleeping! A colicky baby is no fun.
2. That I actually have some time to be thankful for things instead of bouncing up and down with a crying baby in my arms.
3. My new slipcovers for the wingback chairs in our parlor. They should be arriving within 5 days and I will no longer have to look at the stained and ripped upholstery.
4. New clothes that fit.
5. My newfound inner serenity.

Pregnancy

I don't know how women do this over and over and over again. This is my third baby in three years and I feel like I am not going to make it to the end. For the past 32 weeks I have been completely exhausted except for one week which was a total teaser. I feel awful for my children since I haven't been able to do a whole lot with them. I had placenta previa in the beginning which limited my activity and my bones have already separated which makes it hard for me to walk for long periods of time. I have been having contractions for the past two months or so and they are just getting more frequent and more painful. I really am not "good" at being pregnant. Now the panic of having three kids 3 and under is starting to set in. Jack and Grace still get up in the middle of the night and now I am going to throw a new born into the mix. Will I ever sleep again? Of course, I am not the only woman in the world going through this and I know I will figure it out, but the thought of it is a bit overwhelming. But the thought of holding that little tiny baby in my arms tops it all. The smell of his sweet breath, the closeness you feel while nursing, just watching him sleep.......it all makes it worth it. If I could only just fast forward a bit! I am also wondering how the kids will adjust to a new baby in the house. I think Jack will be okay with it, but Grace is a whole other story. How can an adorable tiny girl be so mean?! She is bossy and whiny and demanding. I can't believe the difference between Jack and Grace. Thank God I am having another boy!
Well, only a couple of more weeks and I will have forgotten all that I went through to have baby Alexander. Then, next thing you know it will be his first birthday, his first day of school, his first lost tooth and I will be wondering what happened to the time. Now time to tend to the other fighting kids in my house!