Sunday, May 3, 2009
Why is it so hard?
I want to know why it is so much easier to think of things to complain about than be thankful for. There are a million things that I could list that are wrong in my life, yet I sit here and struggle to think of 5 small things per day to be thankful for. I think that my outlook will change a lot once the baby is born. At the moment I am so uncomfortable and in so much pain I just want to go to bed and only get up to go to the hospital to give birth. I actually don't even want to do that. I would love to stay in the comfort of my own home and have Alex here, yet I don't trust myself enough not to panic and want a doctor present just in case. I doesn't help that we are 35 minutes from the hospital also. I am just longing for the days when I can bend over again without struggling and walk without severe back pain. I want to sleep on my stomach and go to bed without acid reflux for once. Four more weeks, if that. The doctor thinks I will have Alex by mid-May and I hope he is right. It has been so hard to take care of Jack and Grace lately, plus they are in the phase where they get into absolutely everything. Is it a phase or is it just the way they are? I don't know, but I hope things become normal soon. I like organization and right now my life is total chaos. See, how I can think of all of the negatives! I still think of the positives too. It just takes a little more concentration. But wouldn't life be boring then?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
End of pregnancy is SO hard! But it doesn't last forever (even though it feels like it is lasting forever...) When you are so physically limited (and those limitations are increasing every day,) it can be difficult to be positive. Probably the most positive thing is that it is almost over and it won't last forever! Soon your new baby will be here, and you'll be back to normal. Just hunker down and hold your little ones close, because soon, you will be busy with the new one.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the supportive words. I know it won't last much longer. I don't know how you do it with the number of kids your have plus from what I have read about you you are constantly busy. I strive to be like that!
ReplyDelete